Tag Archives: acceptance

Depression’s Shadow

National Poetry Month Day 10:

Depression’s Shadow

I am nothing.

I stand alone.

I grasp for hope.

Tears fill my heart’s ocean.

An endless slumber awaits.

This is life.

Self loathing,
So much hate.

Just make it stop.

Why should I care?

Why should I breathe?

Why should I live?

My soul,
It is in want of meaning.

Crying out,
Desperate for the end.

Yet, a shadow lurks
Beyond the last tear,
Beyond day’s old pillow impressions.

A shadow,
A glimmer
Where hope yet lies
Cast when the light of eyes
Had yet to dim.

Maybe tomorrow I shall grasp it
And make it a part of me.
But for tonight,
Tonight I shall close my eyes
And wait;
Wait for the nothing.

Season of the Haikus

Sadness overwhelms
Dripping from branches of my heart
Winter remains strong
Exuberance is
Bright sunshine upon my brow
Spring brings the thaw
Anxious energy
A vine growing on my spine
Summer’s hot like fire
My mental illness
Becomes smaller as time grows
Autumn’s acceptance


Her lips soft, a flower
I drink full of her chalice
Thighs enjoined
Hands clasped
Fingers caress
Breath captured
Souls raptured in Esctacy
His lips hard, a rock
I drink full of his power
Thighs enjoined
Hands embraced
Fingers clench
Breath shared
Souls entwined in flight
Her love. His love.
I drink full of the divine
Hearts beat fast
No doubts
No shame
No fear
Love, just love

Needs a title (please suggest one in the comments, bonus if it relates to fall)

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
Words muttered in desperate prayer.
Who is it that you hate?
You of course:
The rough cracked pot
The broken human
Days never ending
The world digging into your heart
Begging for a release
Release from this Juptonian Gravity

“I love you! I love you! I love you!”
Words muttered in thankful meditation.
Who is it that you love?
You of course:
The mended pot
The healed human
Days full of possibilities
The world cradling your heart
Begging for a chance
A chance to make a difference, no matter how small

“I hate you! I love you!”
Which is it today?
Shall you rise and fall with the seasons
Changing anon
For one, you shall surely wither into Winter
And the other, bloom into Spring.
For now, you should embrace both
In the multi colored realm of Fall

Manic Revelations of Fall

If you’ve ever been curious about what a manic episode is like; then, read this:

Clock flashes, 1am, another lap round the block

Shoes, you need more shoes.
And notebooks
And sparkly pens
And pink flamingos
Cause your garden is lonely
2am, you speed ever faster, fishtaling corners and flying through school zones.
Walmart, your midnight savior welcomes you
with open arms, inviting infinite swipes of plastic cards
3am, you’re the now the proud owner $3000 of 23 new dresses
and matching necklaces
And 13 bright red scarves
And unpaid electric and phone bills
4am, The world needs your awesome hot spot kiosks
It’s the best invention ever to
carress your smartphone’s skin
Facebook will launch it millionaire status!
5 am, competing radio stations blare cacaophony in your head
“I will survive..”
“I’m a little teapot short and stout..”
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive…”
“Here is my handle, here is my spout…”
I’ve got all my life to live…”
“When I get all steamed up, hear me shout!”
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive…”
“Tip me over and pour me out!”
6 am, sunrise, your 3rd without slumber
You embrace the universe as your soul melts into the firmaments
Glittery green and sparkling gold scream behind your irises
The trees whisper their secrets to you through their tender tendrils
Magical revelations of fall
7am, breakfast, Canopy Cafe
Must have all the eggs
And bacon
And pancakes
And muffins
But eat nothing
What fairy creature eats food?
8 am, devour the fine man specimen walking through the door
See me? Want me? I’m the most fairest in the land.
Smile, flirt, gotta have him.
With a flutter of wings, phone numbers drop into hands
9am, phone rings
plans breed ever more exhaulting plans
Must have mancicle for dessert after work
He’s perfect, you’re perfect
Match made in heaven
10am, work forgotten,
Words vomit upon the page
The world’s next best selling novel takes it’s true form
Who needs an editor when perfection is born?
1am, there’s a knock at the door
But there’s no one there
Big brother must know where you live
Get it out!
The bug in your ear.
2am, you hear your heart beat
“Thumb, Thump,”
“Thump, Thump,”
But it’s not yours anymore
3am, from a distance you see yourself walk out the door
Around the corner
Down the hill
Crossing busy streets
Heading towards nowhere
4am, you yell at the trees for their inane whispers and evil glares
“I hate you!” you utter to the wind for laughing at your turmoil.
5am, Alone on a park bench, which park you have not a clue
Eyes, thousands of tiny eyes, stare at you from the sky
You phone a friend pleading for protection from the omniscient universe
6am, Sunrise. You watch the sky bleed from the front seat of your friend’s car
You explain the eyes and cacaphonious voices to a bewildered face
You smile as you finally have a sympathetic ear.
7am, Hospital. Snake crossed knights offer protection and succor.
The tiles on the ceiling number 546.
The well worn floor records lap number 104.
Said knights in white give shots full of sedation
8am, Sleep. Glorious sleep.
Head reaquinted with pillow four nights forgot.
Was it all a dream? What is reality?
Wings clipped, you fall back to the Earthly realm.
Restoration begins.

Acceptance of Autumn

I walk through the headwinds,
Weathering the storm of life, day after long suffering day
Worn and weathered, grain by grain
Until the the whole is shattered,
Rain of tears fall,
Falls through troughs of daily toil
And along the road of progress.
I brace my soul for the inevitable end;
Breath returns
Inhale, lungs expand
Eyes open to aspirations unobtained
I reach for the window of solace;