- Follow wyspergrove on WordPress.com
- 1,334 hits
: Pandora's Beauty Box
Yesterday, I went sailing on my Uncle’s 40 ft boat. Evidently, many other people had the same idea and were parked on the bay side with their flags displayed. As we approached the Gulf Side of Shell Island, a rainbow appeared. It was truly magical- A promise of remembrance of those who paid the ultimate […]
Along Crawfordville highway in between Panacea and Tallahassee is a Ford Car Graveyard. Twenty + cars dated from early 1900’s to mid are arranged in a semicircle from oldest to youngest. My girls and I stopped here coming back from the beach in Panacea. Evidently, all these cars were used on Pat Harvey’s family farm. […]
Florida County Hwy 65 runs from the interstate south through Hosford, FL through Apalachicola National Forest and dead ends on Hwy 98 on the coast in Carrabelle. It’s 54.7 miles from Hosford to Carabelle. While driving down this highway, there are no cities, there are no dollar stores or gas stations or any other […]
As promised, here are the wildflowers I encountered while driving on FL Hwy 65 towards Sumatra in the Apalachicola National Forest. I included the common and scientific name in the caption (for all that I could identify). You are welcome to share any of the pictures or use them as backgrounds. Tomorrow, I’ll post the […]
I hope everyone had a happy International Astronomy Day! Friday night, I finished photographing wildflowers and that photogenic water moccasin around sunset. As I prepared to drive back home, fireflies started to flash their lights in the hundreds (thousands?) . I stayed about another hour and captured them along with the stars. Earth/Sky website featured […]
: Hands Across The Aisle
My Pledge to use my Voice.
My America, the Eagle Distressed To even contemplate that we, as a nation, are akin to an Eagle— one with the Freedom of the skies– to have the time, the Liberty, to speak about this noble bird in any manner with total impunity, without fear of mortal retribution or imprisonment, is absolutely the epitome of […]
B 52, Baker Act
4:00pm, ambulance ride
The order of white knights saves the day
4:30pm, hospital waiting room
I stare at my lacerated wrists in a daze
The doctor determines that I’m a danger to myself.
Psych techs escort me beyond a locked door
I fall into a deep slumber, the first in three nights
7:00am, nurse turns on light
Time for vitals
7:30am, get dressed
Don’t wear any underwire or strings
grits and eggs yet again
I swallow the pills like a good patient.
9:00am, music therapy
Let’s sing along to, “I’ll survive,” and other songs.
9:30am, meet with doctor
Affirm the retreat of hallucinations
Analyze meditation techniques; what a snooze.
Escape the unit for a trip to the cafeteria
12:30pm, lunch meds
More meds to keep the anxiety at bay
1:00pm, art therapy
Today we are covering journals
2:00pm, psychotherapy (again)
I get to radically accept that my mental illness is real
3:00pm, rest time
It’s shift change on the ward
3:30pm, read time
How many reader’s digest can I read?
4:00pm, outside time
Run around in the courtyard like a chicken with its head cut off
4:30pm, meet with social worker
Figure out a date of release, hope it’s soon.
5:00pm, dinner time
They really feed us well. Chicken or salad?
5:30, dinner meds
Cause one must take some meds with food
6:00pm, psychotherapy group (for the third time)
DBT strategies for emotional regulation, cause I’m disregulated.
Always hoped for, but never expected. 2 visitors today.
8:00pm, snack time
popcorn and yogurt, oh my!
8:30pm, night meds
Cause some meds make you sleepy.
9:00pm, tv time
All good patients gather around the screen
9:30pm, bed time
Time to stare at the curtains and make devious plans
10:00pm, pacing time
Cause you don’t want to carry out those plans. Lap 1, lap 2…lap100
Another night on the unit, how many more, who can say?
I am nothing.
I stand alone.
I grasp for hope.
Tears fill my heart’s ocean.
An endless slumber awaits.
This is life.
So much hate.
Just make it stop.
Why should I care?
Why should I breathe?
Why should I live?
It is in want of meaning,
Desperate for the end.
Yet, a shadow lurks
Beyond the last tear,
Beyond day’s old pillow impressions.
Where hope yet lies
Cast when the light of my eyes
Had yet to dim.
Maybe tomorrow I shall grasp it
And make it a part of me.
But for tonight,
Tonight I shall close my eyes
Wait for the nothing.